Fighter jets intercept plane that breached summit flight restriction

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Apparently This Matters: Instagram’s favorite grandma

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Radioactive Man

Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. You don’t win friends with salad. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

  • Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
  • Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
  • Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

Rosebud

Ahoy hoy? I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Cape Feare

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.

  1. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
  2. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
  3. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

I hope I didn’t brain my damage. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

Duffless

I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. I was saying “Boo-urns.” Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*

Pakistan to meet Taliban for talks

Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I’m partial to air conditioning. Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. Makes me a … scientist.

Finding Freebo

I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. This man is a knight in shining armor. You all right, Dexter?

  • Tell him time is of the essence.
  • I’m really more an apartment person.

Road Kill

I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me.

An Inconvenient Lie

Tell him time is of the essence. Cops, another community I’m not part of. Watching ice melt. This is fun. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

  1. This man is a knight in shining armor.
  2. I’m doing mental jumping jacks.
  3. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.
Do You Take Morgan?

You all right, Dexter? God created pudding, and then he rested. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Makes me a … scientist.

Dex, Lies, and Videotape

You all right, Dexter? Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. I have a dark side, too. I have a dark side, too.